I have written before about how perfectionism plays out in our addiction, but perfectionism doesn’t vanish when we begin recovery—it often tags along, hiding behind our desire to “get better.” For many of us, it shows up as the same voice that once said, “You have to hold it all together.” In recovery, that voice shifts to, “You’dContinue reading “Perfectionism in Recovery: The Trap of “Doing It Right””
Tag Archives: addiction
Staying Grounded Through The Holidays
For many people, November and December are described as “the most wonderful time of the year.” But for those of us in recovery, this season can bring a mix of emotions—some joyful, some painful, and some downright overwhelming. The holidays disrupt routine. Meetings get missed. Sleep and eating patterns change. Suddenly, you’re spending more timeContinue reading “Staying Grounded Through The Holidays”
Give It Away
You can’t keep it unless you give it away A yearlong Baltimore study of 500 former and current heroin and cocaine injection users found that having a sponsor in NA or AA did not result in much of a change in long term recovery. On the other hand, the study found that being a sponsorContinue reading “Give It Away”
Boredom
I was in a group recently where the topic of conversation was boredom. It’s rare to come across someone today that doesn’t struggle with it. What I find interesting is that most opinions of the cause seem to revolve around a lack of stimulation. This is obviously a real cause of boredom but in myContinue reading “Boredom”
Smaller Steps
I was talking with a friend recently and he was telling me how discouraged he was. “My recovery sucks. I’m lonely. I feel like I’m going nowhere in life.” I asked the normal questions. How long has it been since you went to a meeting? Who did you call when you were feeling lonely? WhatContinue reading “Smaller Steps”
Gladness
Gladness. Last year I had the privilege of officiating my oldest daughter’s wedding. Long before the day, I sat with my daughter and soon to be son-in-law as we worked on the outline for the ceremony. As we talked about what they wanted, who would be in the wedding with them and other associated thingsContinue reading “Gladness”
Guilt
Guilt is a feeling that can produce tremendous good in our lives if it is recognized and processed in a healthy way. Guilt allows us to recognize that we have done something wrong, we have caused harm, we have hurt someone. Let me start with a story from this past week. Wednesday was a difficultContinue reading “Guilt”
Shame
Shame is a feeling of embarrassment or humiliation that comes from the belief that we have done something dishonorable or immoral, or that we have fallen short in our own eyes or in the eyes of someone whose opinion is important to us. The effects of shame can last hours or maybe days but willContinue reading “Shame”
Easter Sunday
I’m taking a break from my series on feelings to post something I wrote a few years ago on the Saturday between Good Friday and Easter. It’s a lot longer than what I usually post and it may not speak to anyone but me. I’m sitting at my normal spot for a Saturday morning. It’sContinue reading “Easter Sunday”
Fear
Imagine with me for a minute that we are on a walk in the forest. We are well into the woods, and we come across a cave. Outside the cave entrance is a pile of bones. Some of the bones appear to be old and dry but some look like they have fresh meat onContinue reading “Fear”