For most of my life, I believed two things at the same time. I believed in grace. And I believed in shame. I preached grace for more than 20 years in ministry. I told people that God loved them, that forgiveness was real, that Jesus met us in our brokenness. And I believed every wordContinue reading “When Shame Fails and Grace Leads”
Tag Archives: coaching
Why Are You Really Doing This?
If your reason for recovery is tied to someone else, then your recovery is now tied to something you don’t control.
And that creates a problem most people don’t see at first.
When Nothing is Resolved: Recovery in the Middle of Uncertainty
There’s a place many people in recovery find themselves that doesn’t get talked about enough. It’s the space where nothing is settled yet. The marriage might not make it. The job might not still be there. The court case hasn’t played out. Trust hasn’t been rebuilt. You’re not where you were, but you’re not whereContinue reading “When Nothing is Resolved: Recovery in the Middle of Uncertainty”
When Helping Others Reopens Your Own Story
Consequences, Honesty, and the Hope That Life Isn’t Over Recently, I was on the phone with the family of a young man facing serious charges related to his addiction. He will likely be incarcerated for a long time. They were devastated. They asked the questions families always ask: “Why didn’t he tell us he wasContinue reading “When Helping Others Reopens Your Own Story”
Beyond the Barna Numbers – Part 4
The Church’s Role in the Struggle with Porn In this series we’ve been exploring what the recent Barna research reveals about pornography use in our culture and even within the church. The numbers are difficult to ignore. Pornography use is widespread, and many pastors acknowledge that it is a significant issue within their congregations. ButContinue reading “Beyond the Barna Numbers – Part 4”
Porn, the Church, and What the New Barna Numbers Are Really Saying
For years, pornography has been talked about in the church as a private struggle—something affecting a small group of people behind closed doors. The latest research suggests that picture is no longer accurate. A new national study conducted by Barna Group in partnership with Pure Desire Ministries paints a sobering—and clarifying—portrait of pornography use in both American culture and theContinue reading “Porn, the Church, and What the New Barna Numbers Are Really Saying”
Redefining Toughness in Recovery
In my family, toughness had a very specific meaning. It meant not taking anything off anybody. It meant not showing emotion. It meant never admitting weakness or failure. You stood your ground, handled your business, and kept moving. And in many ways, that kind of toughness helped me survive. It taught me how to endure, how to pushContinue reading “Redefining Toughness in Recovery”
Forgiving Yourself Without Excusing the Past
For a lot of people in recovery, the phrase “self-forgiveness” can feel confusing or even uncomfortable. Many of us hear that term and immediately think, “I don’t deserve that,” or “If I forgive myself, am I just letting myself off the hook?” But when you look a little deeper, most people who say they can’t forgive themselves aren’t really wrestling withContinue reading “Forgiving Yourself Without Excusing the Past”
Anger vs Rage
Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions we carry. Many of us grew up in homes where anger was either explosive or forbidden, so we learned to fear it, ignore it, or shut it down. But anger itself isn’t the problem. In fact, anger is one of the most important signals in the emotionalContinue reading “Anger vs Rage”
The Role of Grief in Recovery
When most people think about recovery—whether from addiction, trauma, betrayal, or unhealthy patterns—they imagine hope, rebuilding, new habits, and a better future. All of that is true. But there is a part of recovery that often surprises people: you cannot heal without grief. Grief is not just about losing a loved one. It’s about acknowledging anyContinue reading “The Role of Grief in Recovery”