When we talk about pride, most people think of arrogance—someone acting superior or full of themselves. But in recovery, pride usually doesn’t look like that at all. It’s quieter. More defensive. And a lot easier to miss. It sounds more like, “I can handle this on my own.” Or, “I shouldn’t need help.” Or even,Continue reading “Pride in Recovery: The Barrier We Don’t Always See”
Tag Archives: feelings
Safety Before Details
What Betrayal Trauma Teaches Us About Healing There’s a moment I’ve seen play out more times than I can count. A man has been caught. The truth is out—or at least part of it is. The weight of hiding is gone, and now he’s sitting across from his wife, overwhelmed with shame, fear, and urgency.Continue reading “Safety Before Details”
Grief in Recovery
One of the reasons recovery feels so difficult — and sometimes so confusing — is because people don’t expect to grieve.
Losing Control of How You’re Seen
There’s a kind of grief in recovery that we don’t talk about very often. We talk about stopping behaviors. We talk about consequences. We talk about healing relationships. But we don’t talk much about what it feels like to lose something that once made us feel… safe. Not real safety. But something that felt likeContinue reading “Losing Control of How You’re Seen”
When Shame Fails and Grace Leads
For most of my life, I believed two things at the same time. I believed in grace. And I believed in shame. I preached grace for more than 20 years in ministry. I told people that God loved them, that forgiveness was real, that Jesus met us in our brokenness. And I believed every wordContinue reading “When Shame Fails and Grace Leads”
When Helping Others Reopens Your Own Story
Consequences, Honesty, and the Hope That Life Isn’t Over Recently, I was on the phone with the family of a young man facing serious charges related to his addiction. He will likely be incarcerated for a long time. They were devastated. They asked the questions families always ask: “Why didn’t he tell us he wasContinue reading “When Helping Others Reopens Your Own Story”
Beyond the Barna Numbers – Part 4
The Church’s Role in the Struggle with Porn In this series we’ve been exploring what the recent Barna research reveals about pornography use in our culture and even within the church. The numbers are difficult to ignore. Pornography use is widespread, and many pastors acknowledge that it is a significant issue within their congregations. ButContinue reading “Beyond the Barna Numbers – Part 4”
Porn as Emotional Regulation, Not Moral Failure
Beyond the Barna Numbers – Part 3 Why the Numbers Keep Climbing In Part 1 of this series, we looked at the latest Barna research and the rising rates of pornography use — even among practicing Christians. In Part 2, we explored the idea that sexual energy hasn’t disappeared in our culture — it hasContinue reading “Porn as Emotional Regulation, Not Moral Failure”
Safety in Uncertainty: Why Recovery Feels So Hard – and What Actually Helps
One of the most uncomfortable parts of recovery isn’t cravings, triggers, or even relapse fear. It’s uncertainty. In recovery, so many of the old guarantees disappear. You don’t know how long the discomfort will last. You don’t know if relationships will heal. You don’t know if urges will return. You don’t know how life willContinue reading “Safety in Uncertainty: Why Recovery Feels So Hard – and What Actually Helps”
Sexual Energy Wasn’t Eliminated – It Was Diverted:
What the Barna Numbers Don’t Tell Us About Porn, Isolation, and Desire In my previous post, I shared recent research from Barna showing just how widespread pornography use has become—both in our culture and inside the church. The numbers are sobering. But numbers alone don’t tell the whole story. What the data doesn’t fully explainContinue reading “Sexual Energy Wasn’t Eliminated – It Was Diverted:”