For most of my life, I believed two things at the same time. I believed in grace. And I believed in shame. I preached grace for more than 20 years in ministry. I told people that God loved them, that forgiveness was real, that Jesus met us in our brokenness. And I believed every wordContinue reading “When Shame Fails and Grace Leads”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Why Are You Really Doing This?
If your reason for recovery is tied to someone else, then your recovery is now tied to something you don’t control.
And that creates a problem most people don’t see at first.
Letting Go of the Wrong Fight
Surrender isn’t losing the fight. It’s finally stepping out of the wrong one so you can begin to win the right one.
When Nothing is Resolved: Recovery in the Middle of Uncertainty
There’s a place many people in recovery find themselves that doesn’t get talked about enough. It’s the space where nothing is settled yet. The marriage might not make it. The job might not still be there. The court case hasn’t played out. Trust hasn’t been rebuilt. You’re not where you were, but you’re not whereContinue reading “When Nothing is Resolved: Recovery in the Middle of Uncertainty”
When Helping Others Reopens Your Own Story
Consequences, Honesty, and the Hope That Life Isn’t Over Recently, I was on the phone with the family of a young man facing serious charges related to his addiction. He will likely be incarcerated for a long time. They were devastated. They asked the questions families always ask: “Why didn’t he tell us he wasContinue reading “When Helping Others Reopens Your Own Story”
Surviving the Most Uncomfortable Place in Recovery
There’s a stage in recovery that doesn’t get talked about enough—not because it’s rare, but because it’s hard to sit with. I touched on it in my blog last week. It’s the stage where you finally see what’s going on… and you don’t yet know how to live differently. In learning theory, this stage isContinue reading “Surviving the Most Uncomfortable Place in Recovery”
Beyond the Barna Numbers – Part 4
The Church’s Role in the Struggle with Porn In this series we’ve been exploring what the recent Barna research reveals about pornography use in our culture and even within the church. The numbers are difficult to ignore. Pornography use is widespread, and many pastors acknowledge that it is a significant issue within their congregations. ButContinue reading “Beyond the Barna Numbers – Part 4”
The Four Stages of Competence in Recovery: Why Feeling “Bad at Recovery” Might Mean You’re Learning
Recovery often gets talked about like a straight path: gain insight, learn some tools, feel better, move on. When that doesn’t happen, people assume something is wrong with them. But recovery follows the same learning curve as any other major life skill. A helpful framework is the four stages of competence. When we apply it toContinue reading “The Four Stages of Competence in Recovery: Why Feeling “Bad at Recovery” Might Mean You’re Learning”
Porn as Emotional Regulation, Not Moral Failure
Beyond the Barna Numbers – Part 3 Why the Numbers Keep Climbing In Part 1 of this series, we looked at the latest Barna research and the rising rates of pornography use — even among practicing Christians. In Part 2, we explored the idea that sexual energy hasn’t disappeared in our culture — it hasContinue reading “Porn as Emotional Regulation, Not Moral Failure”
Safety in Uncertainty: Why Recovery Feels So Hard – and What Actually Helps
One of the most uncomfortable parts of recovery isn’t cravings, triggers, or even relapse fear. It’s uncertainty. In recovery, so many of the old guarantees disappear. You don’t know how long the discomfort will last. You don’t know if relationships will heal. You don’t know if urges will return. You don’t know how life willContinue reading “Safety in Uncertainty: Why Recovery Feels So Hard – and What Actually Helps”