For much of my addiction, I would have told you that I valued honesty. I knew lying was wrong, and I didn’t necessarily think of myself as a dishonest person. The problem was that I became very good at deciding when the whole truth wasn’t necessary. I could almost always rationalize why telling the truth—orContinue reading “Truth and Recovery”
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Coaching and Therapy: Partners in Recovery, Not Competitors
One of the questions I’m asked from time to time is, “What’s the difference between coaching and therapy?” As someone who is a Certified Recovery Coach, you might expect me to argue that coaching is the better option. The truth is, I can’t honestly say that because therapy has been one of the most valuableContinue reading “Coaching and Therapy: Partners in Recovery, Not Competitors”
Denial Doesn’t Remove Consequences – It Just Hides Them
One of the greatest obstacles to recovery isn’t addiction itself. It’s denial. When we hear the word denial, we often picture someone refusing to admit they have a problem. Sometimes that’s true, but denial is usually much more subtle than that. It whispers things like: “It’s not that bad.” “I can stop whenever I want.” “I’mContinue reading “Denial Doesn’t Remove Consequences – It Just Hides Them”
When Recovery Is Disappointing
Disappointment is an emotion we don’t talk about very often in recovery. We talk about shame. We talk about guilt. We talk about anger, fear, and loneliness. But disappointment often sits quietly in the background, shaping the way we think without us ever recognizing it. In many ways, disappointment is the gap between what weContinue reading “When Recovery Is Disappointing”
When Your Relapse Date Becomes Your Identity
One of the most heartbreaking messages I receive from people in recovery goes something like this: “I’m at 15 days. I know I’ll probably relapse today or tomorrow.” Notice what isn’t being described. They’re not talking about overwhelming temptation. They’re not talking about a specific trigger. They’re talking about a belief. Some people relapse everyContinue reading “When Your Relapse Date Becomes Your Identity”
The Lie That Keeps Us in the Dark
One of the greatest lies addiction ever told me wasn’t that my behavior was harmless. It was that I had to keep hiding. For years, I believed that if anyone truly knew me—if they knew what I had done, what I struggled with, or what I was thinking—they would reject me. So I became anContinue reading “The Lie That Keeps Us in the Dark”
When You Don’t Know What Healthy Looks Like
“A person who is full tramples on a honeycomb, but to a hungry person, any bitter thing is sweet.” — Proverbs 27:7 (CSB) I recently came across a quote that has stayed with me: “When you are not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off knives.” It is one of thoseContinue reading “When You Don’t Know What Healthy Looks Like”
Because I Have To vs. Because I Want To
When I was released from prison, I was required to attend group therapy. I had to pay a weekly fee. I had to show up consistently. If I didn’t attend or didn’t pay, I could be violated and sent back to prison. To be honest, there were times I resented it. Sometimes money was tight.Continue reading “Because I Have To vs. Because I Want To”
What a Walmart Parking Lot Taught Me About Recovery
Content Note: Today’s article discusses pornography and masturbation in the context of recovery. For years I have journaled using four simple questions: What am I feeling? What am I thinking? What am I doing? What am I thinking about doing? I have used a four question journaling outline for over a decade but I settled onContinue reading “What a Walmart Parking Lot Taught Me About Recovery”
If Addiction Is a Solution… What’s the Problem?
If addiction is an attempt to solve a problem, then the next question becomes: What problem? Most people initially answer that at the surface level. Stress. Work. Marriage. Temptation. Opportunity. Those things matter—but they’re not the root. The real problem usually isn’t what’s happening around us. It’s what’s happening inside us. This is where I come backContinue reading “If Addiction Is a Solution… What’s the Problem?”