There’s a tension in recovery that a lot of people struggle to hold. On one side, we know the truth: Addiction costs us. It damages relationships. It takes us places we never intended to go. So we say, “This has to stop.” And that’s right. But on the other side, there’s another truth that often getsContinue reading “No Addiction is Justified… But It Is Understandable”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Sex Addiction is Rarely About Sex
When I first entered treatment after being released from prison, one of the therapists informed me that she was listing me as a sex addict. I immediately objected. I was absolutely not a sex addict. I had been a virgin when I married, and I had never had physical sexual contact with anyone other thanContinue reading “Sex Addiction is Rarely About Sex”
The Freedom of Having Nothing Left to Hide
For years I lived in hiding. I was in ministry for more than 20 years, and somewhere along the way I learned a dangerous lesson: struggle, or admitting struggle was unsafe. I believed that if people truly knew what was happening inside me, I would lose everything. So I learned to manage appearances. I learnedContinue reading “The Freedom of Having Nothing Left to Hide”
The Opposite of Addiction is Connection
Johan Hari became is known for a statement that resonated with many people in recovery: “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. It’s connection.” Whether you agree with every detail of his work or not, there is a truth in that statement that many recovering people immediately recognize. Addiction thrives in isolation. Healing happens inContinue reading “The Opposite of Addiction is Connection”
Worship and Recovery
When most people hear the word “worship,” they think about singing in church. But worship is much bigger than music. Worship is about what we center our lives around. It is what we trust, what we pursue, what we depend on, and what we believe will save us, comfort us, or give us peace. ThatContinue reading “Worship and Recovery”
Pride in Recovery: The Barrier We Don’t Always See
When we talk about pride, most people think of arrogance—someone acting superior or full of themselves. But in recovery, pride usually doesn’t look like that at all. It’s quieter. More defensive. And a lot easier to miss. It sounds more like, “I can handle this on my own.” Or, “I shouldn’t need help.” Or even,Continue reading “Pride in Recovery: The Barrier We Don’t Always See”
Safety Before Details
What Betrayal Trauma Teaches Us About Healing There’s a moment I’ve seen play out more times than I can count. A man has been caught. The truth is out—or at least part of it is. The weight of hiding is gone, and now he’s sitting across from his wife, overwhelmed with shame, fear, and urgency.Continue reading “Safety Before Details”
Grief in Recovery
One of the reasons recovery feels so difficult — and sometimes so confusing — is because people don’t expect to grieve.
When Behavior Escalates
What once felt uncomfortable becomes manageable.
What once felt wrong becomes explainable.
What once felt unthinkable becomes… possible.
Without interruption—without accountability—secrecy creates its own reality.
Losing Control of How You’re Seen
There’s a kind of grief in recovery that we don’t talk about very often. We talk about stopping behaviors. We talk about consequences. We talk about healing relationships. But we don’t talk much about what it feels like to lose something that once made us feel… safe. Not real safety. But something that felt likeContinue reading “Losing Control of How You’re Seen”