What Betrayal Trauma Teaches Us About Healing There’s a moment I’ve seen play out more times than I can count. A man has been caught. The truth is out—or at least part of it is. The weight of hiding is gone, and now he’s sitting across from his wife, overwhelmed with shame, fear, and urgency.Continue reading “Safety Before Details”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Grief in Recovery
One of the reasons recovery feels so difficult — and sometimes so confusing — is because people don’t expect to grieve.
When Behavior Escalates
What once felt uncomfortable becomes manageable.
What once felt wrong becomes explainable.
What once felt unthinkable becomes… possible.
Without interruption—without accountability—secrecy creates its own reality.
Losing Control of How You’re Seen
There’s a kind of grief in recovery that we don’t talk about very often. We talk about stopping behaviors. We talk about consequences. We talk about healing relationships. But we don’t talk much about what it feels like to lose something that once made us feel… safe. Not real safety. But something that felt likeContinue reading “Losing Control of How You’re Seen”
When Shame Fails and Grace Leads
For most of my life, I believed two things at the same time. I believed in grace. And I believed in shame. I preached grace for more than 20 years in ministry. I told people that God loved them, that forgiveness was real, that Jesus met us in our brokenness. And I believed every wordContinue reading “When Shame Fails and Grace Leads”
Why Are You Really Doing This?
If your reason for recovery is tied to someone else, then your recovery is now tied to something you don’t control.
And that creates a problem most people don’t see at first.
Letting Go of the Wrong Fight
Surrender isn’t losing the fight. It’s finally stepping out of the wrong one so you can begin to win the right one.
When Nothing is Resolved: Recovery in the Middle of Uncertainty
There’s a place many people in recovery find themselves that doesn’t get talked about enough. It’s the space where nothing is settled yet. The marriage might not make it. The job might not still be there. The court case hasn’t played out. Trust hasn’t been rebuilt. You’re not where you were, but you’re not whereContinue reading “When Nothing is Resolved: Recovery in the Middle of Uncertainty”
When Helping Others Reopens Your Own Story
Consequences, Honesty, and the Hope That Life Isn’t Over Recently, I was on the phone with the family of a young man facing serious charges related to his addiction. He will likely be incarcerated for a long time. They were devastated. They asked the questions families always ask: “Why didn’t he tell us he wasContinue reading “When Helping Others Reopens Your Own Story”
Surviving the Most Uncomfortable Place in Recovery
There’s a stage in recovery that doesn’t get talked about enough—not because it’s rare, but because it’s hard to sit with. I touched on it in my blog last week. It’s the stage where you finally see what’s going on… and you don’t yet know how to live differently. In learning theory, this stage isContinue reading “Surviving the Most Uncomfortable Place in Recovery”