Anger

Growing up, I was taught that anger is always bad. It seemed though, that the people that told me that were very angry people, and they only thought my anger was bad. They seemed to believe theirs was ok. I will repeat again here that I believe our feelings were given to us by God and offer a gift if they are processed in a healthy way, even the “bad feelings” like anger. 

The gift of anger is that it reveals our passion. It reveals what is important to us. Often, when we feel healthy anger, it is showing us that we believe an injustice is taking place. When I think of people that expressed healthy anger I think of people like Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Junior, or Chuck Colson. Mother Teresa became aware of the way people were being treated in the slums of Calcutta and her anger moved her to do something about it. Martin Luther King led the movement to end segregation and counter prejudice in the United States through the means of peaceful protest. Peaceful and protest are words that are seldom used in the same sentence. He took this stand because of healthy anger and faith in Christ. After his imprisonment for crimes he had committed, Chuck Colson started what would become the world’s largest family of prison ministries. His work was the result of healthy anger in response to the struggle he saw men and women deal with firsthand as they were in prison and as they tried to reestablish a healthy life after their release. Chip Dodd says, “Healthy anger exposes what we value and expresses our willingness to do what is required to reach that value.”

Recently a client was checking in after a trip. We had been talking about anger for a couple weeks. He shared that he was looking at a news app in the airport terminal. He came across a story about two men in Texas that had been sexually abusing a couple children and posting videos online. These men had been tracked down by the FBI, arrested, and were going on trial. Unexpectedly, he began to cry as he sat in the terminal. His first response was to want to find a restroom so no one would see. He shared that he rarely cries and never does so in public. Suddenly he realized, what I am feeling is anger. Healthy anger! He found himself searching online for organizations that help children that help abused children recover from the trauma of abuse. He shared that for maybe the first time he realized he was feeling healthy anger, and he decided that it was ok to sit there in front of people he didn’t even know and cry. I cried as he shared this with me.

An unhealthy response to anger includes states of depression and pride. Both express contempt for passion and the vulnerability that healthy feelings produce in our lives. An unhealthy response to anger is an attempt to fight our desire for life and our need for vulnerability.

Jesus’ overturning of the tables at the temple is an example of healthy anger. This marketplace had been set up in the court of the gentiles, the only part of the temple area where gentiles were permitted to come to worship God. Gentiles were being denied access to the very place created for them to come to worship. Jesus’ action was his passion at work to right the injustice that was taking place. 

What are you passionate about? Can you recognize an area in your life where you see healthy anger at work? I’d like to hear about it. Send me a message at rwcoaching2@gmail.com.