We are just a few days before Christmas. Some of us are making last minute plans for friends and family that are coming to visit. Some of us are about to hit the road to spend the holiday with family or friends. Some of us are about to spend our first Christmas in a new location or without an important loved one. Whatever our situation, holidays can be a difficult time for those of us in recovery. I want to take a few minutes to offer some tips for a sober holiday.
Let me begin by sharing once again my favorite quote from my favorite FBI Hostage Negotiator, Chris Voss. “When the pressure is on, we do not rise to the occasion. We fall to the preparation.” Start by modifying your relapse prevention plan. Make it specific for what you will be doing over the holiday. Attempt to include some of your normal routine in your activity. It may be impossible to keep much of your routine, especially as you are traveling or having guests at your house. Maybe you sip coffee and read a devotion in the morning. Perhaps you are used to using a meditation app or a short walk at mid-day. I have found that whatever I am doing I can usually find the time for some reading before bed. For me, that is a routine I can keep wherever I am at. If you don’t have a relapse prevention plan it might be time to think about putting one together for the new year.
Stay connected with friends and family. Isolation is never the answer. Sometimes just being in an environment where other people are present can be beneficial for me. I often go to a coffee shop just to read and be around others. For me, this can be comforting.
Double down on your coping skills. Use your mindfulness tools. Take a walk. Use a meditation app.
Whenever possible, avoid triggering environments. For some of my clients’ events with the extended family may be triggering. Some are using “safe words” to signal their spouse, significant other or trusted family member that they need a break. When the safe word is used it serves as a sign that they need a break. It may be time for a walk, a run to the store or find another way to take a break for a few minutes. If needed, don’t be afraid to set a reasonable time limit for your stay at an event.
Finally on my list, make plans to attend a group meeting. It’s ok to attend a meeting a day if needed. Many programs offer online meetings now. Don’t wait until the last minute to find out how to access those groups.
Remember, recovery is a team sport. We can’t do this alone. But we can do this! I have new groups starting in the new year. I also have openings available for individual clients. If you don’t have a recovery plan in place it might be time to get started. Shoot me an email at rwcoaching2@gmail.com. There’s no charge for the first session. I’d love to help you build the bridge to the life you’re dreaming of.