One of the most common questions people ask themselves in recovery is, “Why can’t I stop?” Why can’t I stop drinking? Why can’t I stop looking at pornography? Why do I keep overeating, isolating, or going back to something I know is hurting me? Eventually, “Why can’t I stop?” can become an even more painfulContinue reading “Recovery Means Learning to Ask Better Questions”
Tag Archives: RWCoaching
Teamwork in Recovery: Choosing to Let Others In
In high school, I played football, but my main interest was wrestling. From the outside, wrestling may not look like a team sport. When the match begins, it is one man facing another on a mat. For a maximum of six minutes, you are responsible for what you do. But those six minutes are supportedContinue reading “Teamwork in Recovery: Choosing to Let Others In”
The Smell of Coffee and the Memory of Safety
I woke up on a steel bunk to the smell of coffee. For a moment, before I opened my eyes and remembered where I was, I was back at my grandmother’s house. The first thing she did each morning was make coffee. Like many in my family, she kept a pot going throughout the dayContinue reading “The Smell of Coffee and the Memory of Safety”
Are Your Recovery Boundaries a Prison—or Protection?
If you have ever put up a fence to keep a dog, a goat, or some other animal contained, you may have discovered something frustrating. If that animal really wants to get to the other side of the fence, it can become amazingly creative. You put up the fence and everything is fine for aContinue reading “Are Your Recovery Boundaries a Prison—or Protection?”
Who Do You Want To Become?
“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” — Proverbs 29:18 KJV I’ve heard that verse quoted most of my life. While the context of the verse is bigger than simply having a vision for our lives, I think there is something here that applies powerfully to recovery. I have talked with many people inContinue reading “Who Do You Want To Become?”
Truth and Recovery
For much of my addiction, I would have told you that I valued honesty. I knew lying was wrong, and I didn’t necessarily think of myself as a dishonest person. The problem was that I became very good at deciding when the whole truth wasn’t necessary. I could almost always rationalize why telling the truth—orContinue reading “Truth and Recovery”
Coaching and Therapy: Partners in Recovery, Not Competitors
One of the questions I’m asked from time to time is, “What’s the difference between coaching and therapy?” As someone who is a Certified Recovery Coach, you might expect me to argue that coaching is the better option. The truth is, I can’t honestly say that because therapy has been one of the most valuableContinue reading “Coaching and Therapy: Partners in Recovery, Not Competitors”
Denial Doesn’t Remove Consequences – It Just Hides Them
One of the greatest obstacles to recovery isn’t addiction itself. It’s denial. When we hear the word denial, we often picture someone refusing to admit they have a problem. Sometimes that’s true, but denial is usually much more subtle than that. It whispers things like: “It’s not that bad.” “I can stop whenever I want.” “I’mContinue reading “Denial Doesn’t Remove Consequences – It Just Hides Them”
When Recovery Is Disappointing
Disappointment is an emotion we don’t talk about very often in recovery. We talk about shame. We talk about guilt. We talk about anger, fear, and loneliness. But disappointment often sits quietly in the background, shaping the way we think without us ever recognizing it. In many ways, disappointment is the gap between what weContinue reading “When Recovery Is Disappointing”
The Lie That Keeps Us in the Dark
One of the greatest lies addiction ever told me wasn’t that my behavior was harmless. It was that I had to keep hiding. For years, I believed that if anyone truly knew me—if they knew what I had done, what I struggled with, or what I was thinking—they would reject me. So I became anContinue reading “The Lie That Keeps Us in the Dark”