I was introduced to pornography through a magazine I found under the seat of my dad’s pickup truck at about the age of nine. The internet didn’t exist at that time and I am thankful. As a teenager I sometimes drove to the next county to a store where I was confident no one would know me to buy a magazine from behind the counter that was wrapped in plastic so no one could see what was on the cover. Sometimes I slipped behind the curtain at a video rental store to get a XXX vcr rental. Pornography use exploded around 2007 with the introduction of the iPhone. Now we carry unlimited access to pornography in our pocket.
I want to address three lures to pornography for some people today.
- Accessibility
- Anonymity
- Affordability
Accessibility. Today we can access pornography anywhere we have access to phone service. We can get it on out tablets, our computers, smart tv’s and even our game consoles. Some studies today say that the average child views porn somewhere between the ages of 9 and 11. There are several ways to block porn now, but most require work and money. Apps are available for blocking sites and providing accountability. Many internet routers can block access but none of these are fool proof. Hopefully, if they slow us down long enough to think about what we are doing we will choose to stop. The resources page on my website provides a link where you can receive 30 days free use of the Covenant Eyes app. I have used this app for years. If you struggle with access, give them a try and see if you find them helpful.
Anonymity. A second thing that snares us is anonymity. Most of the time no one is aware of what we look at online. Sometimes we may get caught b y a spouse or a family member. Occasionally guys reach out to me saying they have been caught on a company computer and have lost a job. Another type of anonymity is that online we can pretend to be anyone we want to be. Many of us aren’t happy with who we are. I can make a profile on a website that says I’m 28 and spend all day at the gym working on my abs and chest when in real life I’m 48 years old and 48b lbs. overweight.
Affordability. I heard a guy say once, “If you’re paying for it, you’re doing it wrong!” We can access what seems like an unlimited supply and variety of porn online for free, unless we consider the cost of a failed marriage, or the shame that comes when a young son or daughter walks into a room and finds us acting out online. I could go on forever about the real cost.
I’ll close by saying there are answers to each of these three problems. Even if you have tried to stop and failed multiple times freedom is possible. A client this morning shared that he just celebrated a year of no porn use. Another is about to celebrate two years. Another is on day six and is excited because he acted out every day for years and six days seems like a miracle. If you struggle with pornography and you want freedom, shoot me an email at rwcoaching2@gmail.com. Freedom is real and it’s possible for you.